A Doggy Conversation

I had a doggy conversation today; it went like this.


Her:"Don't you hate it when they do that?" I'm thinking to myself, do what?
Me: "Fortunately I don't have a dog".
Her:"Oh! they're really very good company, (I guess that I must have had the look of someone in need of company) "roll in something nasty" she replied. Her: directing the conversation to the dog, "No more hot soapy baths for you (I concluded that she was keen on reducing Woollahra's reputation as the biggest water users in Sydney)
But no, her to me "I'll just have to hose her down with cold water". My turn to reply."Are you allowed to use the hose"? Her reply, "I don't care, I'll be using it for a thirty second hose down, I'm certainly not touching her in that state". Dogs are obviously exempt from the Sydney wide water restrictions.

To me, as a non-dog owner, doggy talk is on a par with baby talk. Why is it that dog owners and proud new parents have the feeling that they have the right to inflict this unsolicited information on an unappreciative audience of total strangers?

My daily commute starts with a ten-minute, what should be pleasant walk, through a leafy park. For me, a ground level commune with nature is a joy before heading to a high-rise office in the city. Out walking with me are dog owners and their dogs taking their morning exercise and answering their dog's call of nature.
I have nothing against sharing my path with the dogs or their owners, but I have no desire to engage in unsolicited doggy conversation with them.

It goes like this. Owner to dog: "Leave the lady alone, don't sniff her handbag their's no food in there". Wrong - clever dog has sniffed out my hastily prepared lamb and lettuce sandwich.
Owner to dog: "Aren't you ever so cute (read obstinate, my version) blocking the lady's path, she just might be in a hurry".

This is the two on one approach, it gets much worse though. My horror walk is when I'm confronted with the doggy 'play school group', en masse. Path,what path? The dogs and their owners have total monopoly. The doggy talk reaches stratospheric levels of stupidity. I-Pod headset wearers are on to a winner.
No, I don't hate dogs, but I do object to being engaged in doggy conversation.

One positive comment though, in my leafy suburb they do at least pick up the pooh.